Message Through the Veil

You’ve been given the opportunity to send one message to one person you wouldn’t normally have access to (for example: the President. Kim Kardashian. A coffee grower in Ethiopia). Who’s the person you choose, and what’s the message?

If I had the opportunity to send one message to one person I wouldn’t normally have access to, I would send a message to my mother.  I don’t have access to her because she died in 1995.  Technically I never had access to her because she gave me away when I was 5 weeks old.

The message would go something like:

Hi Debbie,

It’s me, your only daughter Sunshine.  Remember me?  You gave me away when I was 5 weeks old.  Did you know that I thought you were dead for almost half of my life?  Turns out you were just a woman who decided she wasn’t willing to grow up for the sake of her child.  I just have a couple of questions for you.  Did you love me?  Why couldn’t you love me enough to change?  To want to raise me?  Did you know the woman you doomed me to live with was borderline evil?  She never loved me either.  He criticized me, cursed at me, beat me every chance she got until she couldn’t anymore.  Is that the life you envisioned for me?  Do you even care?  In case you were wondering I survived it.  I am pretty screwed up, but I survived it.  I have a family of my own now.  A family I love more than anything in this world and can’t imagine ever walking away from.  I think about you almost every day even though I don’t want to.  Did you ever think of me?  Did you ever look for me? Or did you just put me out of your mind when I moved to North Carolina?  I’m sorry if these questions are a burden to you but they’ve been my burden for over 2 decades.  I think it’s only fair.

Sunshine

Yes I realize she is dead.  That I can’t actually send her a message.  However it said anyone.  She is the only person I’d want to send a message to.

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I'm a Mother, a Military Wife, a Student, a Blogger, and an Amateur Photographer. I may wear many hats, but deep down I'm still me.

9 thoughts on “Message Through the Veil

  1. Have you no way to find out the answer to these questions? Are there no relatives of hers who could help you fill in the blanks? Maybe she didn’t care, but maybe she had a good reason (like she didn’t feel she could look after you because of post-natal depression). Whatever happened, and answers or none, I hope you are proud of how you survived 🙂

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    1. Technically no. I have gotten in touch with her sister in law, which is how I found out that she was dead. She said that no one knew what happened to me. One day I was there the next I wasn’t and when they would ask about me she wouldn’t answer. So the only person that can answer my questions is dead. Thanks for you comment. 🙂

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  2. The best revenge is to live well. Her choice was about herself, not about you. I am sorry for what you had to experience, but very happy to know that you have survived and are making much better choices than she did.

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  3. I am really sorry for what you had to go through…but is it any way possible that your mom had to do what she did. I don’t think any mother would do this to her child. Wish you a great life ahead and hope you get answers from somebody if not your mom.

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